Why is it Important to Cultivate Relationships With Students?
One of the biggest assets an educator can have is the ability to cultivate relationships. My biggest piece of advice to teachers is to put aside the academics and focus on establishing a relationship with your students.
Think about your own experiences. How do you “show up” when there is a positive relationship with your supervisor? I know when I feel valued and heard, I personally work harder and dig deeper. When I evaluate my own work as a teacher or administrator, I wouldn’t say I was the best. However, I understood the value of building relationships with my students, parents, support staff, and other stakeholders. I can assure you that when you take the time to cultivate these relationships, you can move mountains!
Reflecting on the relationships I’ve built over time, I got to thinking about students in the inner city of Chicago. Many of these students hated every bit of school, but once I worked on building their trust, I saw increases in attendance, time on task, assignment completion, and passing classes. One specific way I was able to make inroads was through a daily decision many students made: choosing each morning to either play basketball or eat breakfast. It was evident on the days that basketball was chosen, that my first-period class was more difficult as they were hungry and most times angry. What I understood about this choice, was that many had not eaten since being at school the day before. I saw a tremendous opportunity here...
We called a class meeting and discussed how much they love playing basketball and how it is hard to come to school and sit in a class. Many of the students recognized but were unable to verbalize that they needed the movement break to begin the day. So, as a classroom community, we solved the problem together by agreeing that students could choose to play basketball instead of breakfast. In this instance, I would provide the milk and cereal first period, but the compromise was they had to work and eat.
The moral of the story is that students want you to be authentic with them. They want to be held accountable while also feeling supported. I set high expectations for all my students and if you’ve read my other blog posts, you’ll know I’ve worked with students with some of the toughest behaviors you could imagine. Ultimately, students will rise to these standards and expectations when you take an interest in them. Don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t happen overnight. Many will push you away because it’s just easier for them. That is why it’s critical to reinforce on a daily basis, that you are excited they made the choice to come back to school that day.
Please take time to build the relationship as the upfront investment will yield tremendous results down the line. After all, shouldn’t we be playing the “long game”?
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