As I was scrolling through Facebook, I came across a post that did a wonderful job describing the IEP meeting. It’s important for parents to be mentally prepared for how it will feel, including the many adults who will be present that will tell you all about your child. The group will explain all the ways your child is behind their peers and will feel focused on all the negative parts of your child. It may even feel as if it is your fault as a parent.

Back to school 2021 is quickly approaching, bringing conflicting emotions for each one of us. Putting aside the unknown about whether or not our children will be in-person, hybrid, remote or even focusing on masked or unmasked, what do you want to see out of this year?

How do we prepare?

Even the students who are very attentive and respond promptly with every request may be responding this way as a learned response from trauma. You may be very pleased with these types of students but you may not be aware of the anxiety or fear they are harboring based on a traumatic experience in their life. This child could be conditioned to make the adults around them happy because they may live with an alcoholic parent who becomes verbally and/or physically aggressive when they don’t comply.

Have you sat in a parent-teacher conference and became lost as to what was being shared with you? It’s ok if you do not understand. School is not the same as it was when we attended. You may want to know more about your child’s continued struggles with reading or math, or your child’s inability to focus after lunch.

When a significant event occurs such as divorce, the death of a parent, or physical and/or mental abuse we tell ourselves that the “children are resilient and will pull through.” Children are resilient, but they still need tools that will help them cope with the trauma. Often what we believe are children being resilient is really a child packing away what happened and not addressing their feelings.

For context, resourceful would be defined as……. Resourcefulness can be a fine balance as many students choose not to ask for help because they don’t want to look stupid or they demand it which doesn’t always go over well with adults.