This week I was connecting with a friend and former colleague, discussing the struggles within one of the local school districts. This is a large urban district that was struggling prior to the pandemic and now is barely keeping its head above water. And at what cost?

As many of our children have either started their school year or are preparing to return, we must be mindful of one big emotion…anxiety. You may observe tantrums or outbursts which appear to be out of the ordinary. Ultimately, it’s a manifestation of their anxiety and more than likely they are unaware they are feeling this way.

We’re not meant to keep our emotions in check 100% of the time. We need to find some balance or outlet, understanding how to express our feelings appropriately in a safe environment. How do we monitor our own emotions while helping our children understand their own?

The focus for Kindergarten through about 3rd grade is on learning to read, before switching to reading to learn. Students who struggle to read and have reached 3rd grade begin to find ways to avoid reading.

One of these responsibilities is ensuring your child is receiving the correct supports at schools. There usually comes a time when you have to reach out to the school with questions and concerns.

What may have begun as just an outlet became a resource, providing a feeling of connectedness for many. These parents will be the first to share that they are not experts on autism, but they willingly offer their experiences and learns.

One way to help family and friends understand SPD is to try to use connections based on their own personal experiences. Begin to think about what your reaction is when you smell freshly brewed coffee or when someone vomits. Our brain sends a response that causes us to react. When I smell freshly brewed coffee it sends a signal to my brain which makes me want coffee.

It’s okay to acknowledge that life is hard and different right now and we are all trying to find our way through daily. Perhaps we could focus on grace and understanding instead of judgement. Maybe, instead of rushing to push our students back to what used to be, we embrace the different, focusing less on what we are missing out on and more on being change-makers.

All this talk across the country about “reopening schools” has me wondering, what does “reopen” really mean? Depending on where you live it means different things. Maybe it’s reopening schools to pre-pandemic standards or having students back full time but with the current safeguards in place?

Let’s commit to meeting our students where they are and not where we think they should be. We have to remember that not all children come to us with the same foundation and many will have significant gaps as a result of COVID-19 or were already experiencing significant gaps before the pandemic.

As much as we all want to forget 2020, please take time to reflect on this past year. How will you choose to view 2020? We want to be more purposeful in helping our children focus on what is important to them and how to spend their energy as they take their cues from us. How do you want your children to respond? We can spend hours on all the things we have lost or appreciate everything we still have or may have gained.

Why again is December so difficult? Because children crave consistency and routine and December is one of the most inconsistent months of the year. We have a winter break, days off for parent-teacher conferences, assemblies, etc. The “normal” schedule is altered including whatever changes are happening at home. You also need to consider the pressure of being able to afford gifts or the increase in the use of alcohol for celebrations. These factors affect us as adults, can you only imagine how they impact our children?

As a teacher and school administrator, I would dread the month of December as many of my students would begin to struggle. There would be expectations and hopes of what the holidays could bring, but ultimately it created more stress and anxiety, leading students to act out even more. Don’t get me wrong, most students look forward to this time, but consider the students that rely on two of their daily meals coming from school and who will have to find another means to eat. It was sad and exhausting to observe.