As many of our children have either started their school year or are preparing to return, we must be mindful of one big emotion…anxiety. You may observe tantrums or outbursts which appear to be out of the ordinary. Ultimately, it’s a manifestation of their anxiety and more than likely they are unaware they are feeling this way.

Back to school 2021 is quickly approaching, bringing conflicting emotions for each one of us. Putting aside the unknown about whether or not our children will be in-person, hybrid, remote or even focusing on masked or unmasked, what do you want to see out of this year?

How do we prepare?

We’ve been asked to accept a tremendous amount of change over the last eighteen months. At first, many of us rolled with it, but it has worn thin on many with a general sentiment of anger. I tend to believe a lot of us have been asked to accept change when we think about school for our children.

Anxiety that begins to interfere with everyday functioning can happen to our children as well. For example, children may consistently blurt out in class or constantly talk. More often than not, the adults misread this behavior. This could lead to the belief that the student is a behavior problem, is being disrespectful, lacks focus, or more seriously showing signs of A.D.D. (Attention Deficit Disorder) or A.D.H.D. (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder).

Even the students who are very attentive and respond promptly with every request may be responding this way as a learned response from trauma. You may be very pleased with these types of students but you may not be aware of the anxiety or fear they are harboring based on a traumatic experience in their life. This child could be conditioned to make the adults around them happy because they may live with an alcoholic parent who becomes verbally and/or physically aggressive when they don’t comply.

Have you sat in a parent-teacher conference and became lost as to what was being shared with you? It’s ok if you do not understand. School is not the same as it was when we attended. You may want to know more about your child’s continued struggles with reading or math, or your child’s inability to focus after lunch.

When a significant event occurs such as divorce, the death of a parent, or physical and/or mental abuse we tell ourselves that the “children are resilient and will pull through.” Children are resilient, but they still need tools that will help them cope with the trauma. Often what we believe are children being resilient is really a child packing away what happened and not addressing their feelings.

Why does self-care come easily for some while others struggle in allowing themselves the time? When the concept of self-care is mentioned, many dismiss it out of hand as a buzzword or fad.

We’re not meant to keep our emotions in check 100% of the time. We need to find some balance or outlet, understanding how to express our feelings appropriately in a safe environment. How do we monitor our own emotions while helping our children understand their own?

For context, resourceful would be defined as……. Resourcefulness can be a fine balance as many students choose not to ask for help because they don’t want to look stupid or they demand it which doesn’t always go over well with adults.

The focus for Kindergarten through about 3rd grade is on learning to read, before switching to reading to learn. Students who struggle to read and have reached 3rd grade begin to find ways to avoid reading.

Explain to me we are pushing so hard to get back to the schooling that so many complained about prior to the pandemic? Why are we afraid to admit something new may be working for some students?

IEP meetings can be raw and emotional, especially when what a parent observes at home conflicts with what teachers see at school. It’s especially difficult to hear about your child’s deficits. It’s ok to disagree with the direction of the committee, therefore it’s critical to understand your rights and that of your child.

One of these responsibilities is ensuring your child is receiving the correct supports at schools. There usually comes a time when you have to reach out to the school with questions and concerns.

The year begins promising and you believe this is it and things are going to start clicking for your child. Then as predicted the concerns arise like a load of bricks falling from the sky.