Is it Tattling or Telling?

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Yesterday our son had some issues at school.  He is naturally a rule follower, so when he witnesses others not following the rules he tends to insert himself into the situation.  We continue to work with him on knowing when to insert himself or when to allow the adults to handle the situation.  This can be tricky as you toe the line between tattling and telling.

Most times, we know he will need to and should just allow the adults to handle the situation.  But how do you teach your children the difference?  We see in the news almost daily when people went years without reporting or saying anything for situations that we know are awful.  We talk a lot about reporting to adults but not being tattlers.  Where is the balance?  Why do children go from not tattling to just not reporting?  

Often it is can be attributed to:

  • They have been taught to obey adults.

  • They don’t know the words to use to tell.

As parents, we can use the following ideas:

  • Tattling: This is usually a situation that is not unsafe and it can typically be solved more simply. (Taking someone’s toy away from a peer without permission.)  Tattling is often used as a means to get someone in trouble.  

  • Telling: Typically a situation that is unsafe for yourself or someone else.  You want to protect yourself or a peer from harm.  

Some resources:

Is it tattling or telling?

Teach the difference between tattling and telling.  

The implications of not understanding the difference can have long-term implications and consequences.  

#standreadytosupport

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