We also need to recognize that some of our most vulnerable students have been “lost” during the pandemic. The United States has approximately 50 million students who attend public schools and of those, around 3 million continue to be unaccounted for since the pandemic began.

Let me be clear, our children do not need to fail to have a disability! What happens to students who always struggle with school and continue to “almost” fail?

Recently, I listened to a podcast by Rachel Hollis, where part of the episode discussed why the fear of failing is so triggering for many of us. Rachel spoke about how we do ourselves a disservice when we do not allow for failure or refrain from experiences because we don’t want to chance failure. I have always been one to dream but it was these fears of failure that were holding me back. Fear of failure holds us back from continuing to set goals or pursue dreams. The brutal result of this cycle is stagnation.

As much as we all want to forget 2020, please take time to reflect on this past year. How will you choose to view 2020? We want to be more purposeful in helping our children focus on what is important to them and how to spend their energy as they take their cues from us. How do you want your children to respond? We can spend hours on all the things we have lost or appreciate everything we still have or may have gained.

Reflecting on the relationships I’ve built over time, I got to thinking about students in the inner city of Chicago. Many of these students hated every bit of school, but once I worked on building their trust, I saw increases in attendance, time on task, assignment completion, and passing classes. One specific way I was able to make inroads was through a daily decision many students made: choosing each morning to either play basketball or eat breakfast. It was evident on the days that basketball was chosen, that my first-period class was more difficult as they were hungry and most times angry. What I understood about this choice, was that many had not eaten since being at school the day before. I saw a tremendous opportunity here...

Why again is December so difficult? Because children crave consistency and routine and December is one of the most inconsistent months of the year. We have a winter break, days off for parent-teacher conferences, assemblies, etc. The “normal” schedule is altered including whatever changes are happening at home. You also need to consider the pressure of being able to afford gifts or the increase in the use of alcohol for celebrations. These factors affect us as adults, can you only imagine how they impact our children?

When we are trying to help students it is important to remember some require more support than others and that is ok! Our role as educators is to teach the students we have and not the ones we wished we had. Be bold and ask for help.

As a teacher and school administrator, I would dread the month of December as many of my students would begin to struggle. There would be expectations and hopes of what the holidays could bring, but ultimately it created more stress and anxiety, leading students to act out even more. Don’t get me wrong, most students look forward to this time, but consider the students that rely on two of their daily meals coming from school and who will have to find another means to eat. It was sad and exhausting to observe.

I find it unacceptable when I hear stories of families being told their child is “not failing” so there is no need for Special Education services. Why should failure dictate need? Another scenario that pains me, is when parents have been requesting an evaluation for years and get the runaround from the school.

“Do I even have a choice?” This is the question I’m being asked most often now when it comes to what our children are being offered in school. The perception is that things are being done to parents, not with us or for us. What adds to the stress and anxiety is not being able to see around the corner at what’s next.

The “one-size-fits-all” idea has truly been exposed as we’ve moved to remote and hybrid learning models due to COVID-19. Think about it for a minute, regardless of whether your child is full remote or hybrid, are the assignments being differentiated to meet their needs or is every child getting the same lesson?

Support systems for parents with Special Education students is paramount. Whether it’s to share concerns, vent, or finding deeper levels of need such as advocacy, it’s absolutely critical.

Parents want desperately to feel heard, however, they do not all come to school with the same set of expectations or ability to effectively communicate their needs or the needs of their child. Throughout my career one of the hardest things I’ve encountered is when a parent is called by school personnel and told that there is no need to complete a special education evaluation because their child will not qualify for services. This has always dumbfounded me due to legal obligation or a child’s needs being dismissed out of hand. Unfortunately, it’s a greater reality than anyone would hope.

These situations have lead me to where I am today as an educational consultant. After years of having these meetings and seeing parents feel lost and overwhelmed, I wanted to give them support for these challenging times. Parents should feel empowered and provided guidance through this process. You don’t know what you don’t know, and I am here to help.

Numbers help me put things in perspective. In a typical school year we would be about 11% through at this point. However, if we view it as our 8th day of school, it essentially means zero weight is placed on the “independent learning days” and we are only 4% through the year. It frightens me that we are placing no weight on those days.